If a tree falls . . .

I lived up to my nickname today.

We were up well before dawn to go to a local park for a community sunrise service. Having inherited my dad’s sense of adventure, I’m always up for the excitement of rising in the wee hours of the morning, bundling into hats, scarves and warm coats, and shivering in the darkness, singing and praying as the sky lightens and the sun finally appears over the trees. What a perfect way to begin Easter morning!

Back to the nickname…shortly before the service began, Hubby was standing with the other pastors. He looked out at the crowd of about thirty people milling around and spotted, in the near-darkness, someone pitch forward and crash to the ground. He thought to himself, “That has got to be Melanie.” My nickname: “Timber.” And not the noun, the interjection, as in “Timmmmber!

This afternoon I had to peel my pantyhose off my blood-encrusted knee - not so fun - and I’ll probably be sore tomorrow, but I’m used to it.

Just a few months ago, I fell and sprained my ankle (that was an embarrassing one – I did a lot of hollering, mostly about my opinion on going to the ER after a long day, so hubby didn’t push it (smart man); just a few days later I fell right off the stage into a heap, hurting both elbows.

I have fallen in a ditch (due to a bad choice of shoes), crashed into an accordion door (same shoes! and the door suffered major injuries), and I fell onto my hands and knees at my brother’s wedding reception, while carrying the top layer of their beautiful wedding cake (it survived, just got shorter and denser!). I’ve gone through a lot of pantyhose in my short (haha) life.

But my nickname came before all these falls.

One Sunday after church I stood in the center aisle, chatting with a handful of people. I crossed my legs and wedged my front foot into the side of the pew. I guess it was inevitable that I should eventually lose my balance. When it happened, my feet were trapped and I could do nothing but pitch forward helplessly. Talk about a showstopper – when I fell like a tree in the midst of the group, everyone was stunned into silence; when I let out an embarrassed titter, they all burst out laughing, and laughed so hard I began to feel a little indignant! And then one wit in the crowd dubbed me “Timber.”

Recently a sweet little woman in our church was exchanging riddles with a Victory Home resident. I offered one of my favorites, gleaned from a Dixie cup many years ago.

“Miss Taffie,” I said, “What goes ‘Ha, ha, ha, thump?’”

“Melanie!” she crowed.

By the way, the Dixie cup answer was “Somebody laughing his head off.” I thought it was a cute joke, but now I’ve become the punch line. What cruel irony. Excuse me while I go change my band-aid.


Melanie said...

Testing 1-2-3!

Melanie said...


Anonymous said...

My short-term memory loss almost did me in. I just started to type, "You had me laughing my head off again." It's not nice for a momma to laugh so hard at her daughter's misfortunes, but your way with words is just too much. Sorry!